Chasing cars.... the end

this will go down as one of the best weekends in my life.... Thank you :)
I hope you find what you are looking for.

It's easier for u to let go

What have I become... I'm so into this girl and I haven't even met her yet... I love her for the way she makes me smile and feel... I love her for the many things that she is... But.I'm sitting here waiting for her to call me and its 1am... How late do I stay up. I know she's had a rough day. After finding out the news she found out I'm concerned on how she feels ... We aren't even a couple or nothing but I feel so connected to her... Am I crazy?? Ugggh. Maybe I am for staying up so late... Maybe I am setting myself up for disappointment... I want this to work but I think she's afraid and or doesn't want to... I know she thinks about it, but I don't know.... I lost... I fell for her hard and now I'm just a blabbering idiot over this.... She asked me not to get close but I.did. but the things we do and talk about... Makes me wonder what really is happening in that head... It seems all good.  I guess time will tell... I am suppose to see her soon, new years weekend.. we talk about being excited and being epic... I have no doubt about that....

What have I done to....

The things I get myself into.... People hating me... Friendships changing... Best moving out of the country and relatives losing their other half due to family issues... My friend from LA said it best... You just need to step back and look what's important in yur life and take care of it...
I have been caught up in my crush so much that the rest of me is not doing so well. Grasping onto my optimistic ideas and hoping.. maybe not such a good idea... I have resorted into the one thing that led me to depression... I am controlling it but I see it as a way to stay out of trouble and save money... A week now and I have the same $5 in my wallet for a week. It's progress... But sometimes I think its a curse... We shall see

Keep my mouth shut from the start.....

This weekend has been really tough... finding out about someone you care for doesn't want to be that way with you is heartbreaking. The things we have been thru and experienced have been amazing, and have strengthen our friends 10 times than what it was... I fell in love with her but alas she fell in love with someone else. The ever so deep dagger plunging into my heart. I will always remain that best friend to her, we laugh and have fun but deep inside i hurt cuz i know that this quest i put upon myself will be tougher and may end. I will not give up like i have been told in the past. I cant and wont. i have to be persistent if i am to woo her over again. She has gone thru so much these past months and its not fair to bother her. but with my lack of persistent attention she fell for someone else. Normal i guess, or lost interest in me for something she truly wants and i cannot provide yet...  I have never felt so strongly for some one. and maybe i am blinded by this love or lust. I am grateful for the friendship we have...
this past week my best friend for the last 6 years has passed away in a car accident.... why must my loved ones be taken away from me... its been awhile but i actually sat in a corner and teared up... I cannot think straight and my chest hurts.... I miss you anne and need you now more than ever... I have a person that hates me because he thinks i caused his divorce... so then he wished me harm cuz of it... after that threat my bff passes away... All i can think is that his negative energy somehow took Anne away from me....  I don't like him now cuz of this. She was my inspiration to pursue my crush/bff now no one is here, and things are falling apart. yet i still have a urge of optimism... with Valkyrie and others... ya...

Dango....

I had to

while you are being a douche

you better appreciate what you have.....

While you are ignoring her,
Another guy is giving her attention...

While you're giving her problems.....
Another guy is listening

While you're to busy for her....
Another guy is making time for her....

While you're making her cry.....
Another guy is trying to make her smile again....

While you're not sure if you still want her.....
Another guy has already figured it out....

wait what

.....