Poor Zoe

I lie here in bed with my daughter hoping things will get better, she is getting up periodically to throw up and it's starting to worry me. Makes me wonder what she's doing over there or is this just a bug she just got from someone whatever the case may be she is sick im im here to take care of her. It's been awhile since I've seen Zoe sick, it's usually one of the other two...

This weekend I have my kids, we had some pretty gnarly adventures planned but now with this recent epidemic we might have to alter them... It's ok that's what parents do. And I miss doing such things, I remember when we first seperated I was confused and not all there and said some pretty mean things about myself and my failures of being a father, I look now each and everyday to that time to see my kids again. Do they miss me?? When I see them they seem too but when I'm not around they don't call or make an effort, sometimes I wonder about that. People still ask me if I would ever go back... I think there's an understanding now between us that things were meant to be like this and we need to live our lives seperated. I am happy now but I am sad that I don't get to see them as much as I would like too.

As for me, I think I'm still self-conscious about myself and act like a dumb ass in person. Recently I met up with this very bright and beautiful person, but in the back of my mind my self doubt was trying to over whelm me. I still chat with this person and were suppose to get a bite to eat so we will see how that goes....

Also my friend B invited me to her Bday party!!! I wanted to go because first of all I would get to meet up with B and her hubby and second she is trying to set her bff up with me. I have chatted with her recently and she seems really kewl, just bad timing on my part with the kids and all. One day we will meet but not this weekend.

And as for Anne, she is getting better, her loss of a friend has settle down and the recent break up with her bf has made the transition smoother. Yes we miss our Nikki but things need to move on and remember the good times we shared. I recently aquired Nikki's journel from her mom and it was an interesting read.... I didn't realize that her feelings for me were that strong and her thoughts were so vivid. The attention to detail almost scares me. "I love the way his heart beats in unison with mine as I lay upon his chest, not worrying about the world around me just captivated by his creative thought and boyish charm." wow I miss her....

-- Post From My iTouch