Need to move on!!!

Last night I realized that the things I have been doing have just been making things worse... What sucks is that my previous life keeps coming back to haunt me and I don't like it. I am happy now but when old memories that I have put away and moved on from keep poking me in the back it's time to just let it go all together. I have made some new friends that I really enjoy and they to like my company. The whole Nikki thing has been hard to deal with by myself but have managed for the most part. And last night talking to Valkyrie I realized why am I still chasing a lost cause??? She is happy now for the most so ya.....

This weekend proved that I was chicken shit to see Valkyrie!! But it also brought closure to an ongoing crush. After finding out why she has shyed away from me it totally made sense. I'm not mad but a sense of sadness is looming around, but at the same time I'm happy for her!! So then what did I do wrong??

This weekend I also treated myself to a movie. 500 days of summer.... I'm actually gonna put this movie in my top ten favorites of all time!! Only probably cuz it has opened up a lot about relationships and kinda mirriored what I'm going thru. I met this girl fell for her and she moved on only to put me in the realization that she isn't the last thing in my life, her ability to spark my creative and passionate mind to work has proved her to be vital in my ongoing quest to be happy. If that makes sense.... I think I still have a chance but that's also the optimist talking in me. In my marrige I gave up and procrastinated so much it became the normal thing, I hated it!! Now it's getting better to not do that and I think I've become a way better person. Anyways Valkyrie has found that special someone and has moved on, and now I'm sitting there in friend status.... More on that later

This weekend also made me uncomfortable about being around my old home with the kids, even thou my kids were sick I still had the chance to run into my old friend, I've decided to just move on from that and don't look back anymore. What happened happened and it's just unwanted emotion to deal with.






-- Post From My iTouch

Nevermind!!! blarg!!!

After the loss of a really close friend this past year, I've been thinking about all the friends that i have gathered since I've separated from my wife. Facebook and twitter has really help in my transition and have gained some great people to call 'friends' The loss of Nikki really bothered me more so now than when it really happened. That person i could confide in and let lose of all my emotions is gone, that person i could laugh to about my frustrations and get advice towards my ever-going saga with Valkyrie is gone... After reading the journal that her mom gave me it showed another side of Nikki that i kinda knew but now know in a full understanding of her pain. She loved me and loved me like no other, the comments i made of Valkyrie made her stumble and she tried to grasp onto me but couldn't because i was so wrapped into my own journey.