Hang on!!

Hmmm to getting out of the house late this morning and luckily the bus was running late again I made good time riding my bike. Getting there at the usual time of a couple minutes before 5am but leaving at 435 I had a good pace to get there with time to spare. My ride was accompanied by an almost full moon sitting on the horizon. I the next couple days it will be back to shine my way and lite up my path of travel. It was kinda neat seeing the moon sitting there ready to sleep as the sun is coming up.

My roommate was sad last night because she didn't get the job she applied for. Which is a shame cause I know she would've done good in that position. She is a hard worker and I wish her well. As for my job it's pretty simple yet stressing sometimes cause of my boss but isn't every job like that???



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Why do you let me stay here???

Another Monday and week four of my biking to work. Which isn't that bad if you have music and wake up on time. One thing I keep forgetting to do on my ride is look around at the settings that is given to me. The few moments that I do gaze upon the heavenly sky i notice the black sky that is poked with millions of holes by some celestial being giving us air to breathe. The night sky is amazing out in the desert. Hardly any city lights and quiet from the daily hustle bustle of metropolis life. Its amazing out here at night.

What inspired me the write this was when the bus was in route to my final destination the edge of the fog was creeping it's way towards Mojave and the blanket of cotton looking air swirled around at the foot of the cemetery plant leaving an eerie sense of wonderment as we drove by. Almost straight from a horror film where on a foggy morning the bodies reveal themselves as the sun burns away the mist. What will today have in store for us??? Hmmmm

Also I found out that I was pulled into an affair scandal that was kinda funny. One of my close friends was told by her daughter that the reason they were getting a divorce was because her and I had an affair..... HahahahahHhHHAahahah!!!!!! Ya likely story thou I have always wanted to sleep with her just never happened and just have become good friends. It's interesting thou why he choose me to say this about. Considering that when they were married we never talked to each other because he was controlling and didn't like any of her friends. And it wasn't till after my separation and hers we even started reconnecting with one another hmmmm. He is just an interesting person. Even thou they are divorced they will always be in each others life due to the fact they have kids.... And throwing mud at each other mainly on his side from what I get isn't the best way to raise them. Grant it I have my own situations about my kids and ex but doesn't everyone??? It's part of the separation as parents package.


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All the leafs are brown....

Sniff sniff uggg such a runny nose today.... The bike ride was very cold, probably the coldest yet. I did manage to get there on time but the only thing was the bus ended up being 25min late.... Seriously!! Our town is the first stop WTF!!! Hmmm oh well at least I made it.

Soo ya these last two days have been crazy. My parenting skills have been challenged by my own daughter. I couldn't goto work due to snow and I am broke as a joke ugggg oh and taxes were denied boooo. I did fix the taxes and I managed to rectify my situation with my daughter but it left a sour note in my head cuz the way she used to hurt me.....


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Swing life away....

Hmmm so Valkyrie popped in my head again. I still talk to her on occasions and her relationship with her "best friend" seems to be going strong. Just makes me wonder the what ifs and so close moments to seeing her, yet I hold back still. Well now maybe cuz I don't have a car at the moment hmmmm ya that's it. I'm not sure why I give excuses for her but they are their. Every since Porscha asked me why I'm still single, it makes me wonder why. It's by choice I'm thinking. So many missed opportunities and yet I'm still here single. Maybe I'm afraid of commitment maybe I'm still recovering from my failed past or maybe I'm still looking for myself. I can come up with so many excuses yet I'm still here thinking of the past. Why..... I really need to move on and make the best of it. Valkyrie is my friend and that's all it will ever be. Yes at one time she was the one I wanted to be with, to hold, and to be intimate with. Yet for some shy reason I stayed away. Uggg.... I will continue to go merry way of flirtatious comments hide behind my computer and be content. Que sera sera.......

The bike ride this morning went good I made it in 26ish min. I was running late so I jammed down there as fast as I could. I did rest some spots but if I can keep a good pace I'm sure I can make I to 20mins. As for the ride last night it was ok the wind was blowing but I managed to keep going. Took me like 40 mins. Hmmm.


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Wasting time....

The exertion of muscles as they push forward my metal steed. The precise balance needed to ride such a machine and concentration is uncanny. My morning slumber is interrupted due to such a thing. Hmmm...... The bike ride seems to be getting easier and easier each week thou my Monday jaunts are tough at first due to no activity during the weekend. Today on Mondays however my ride home won't be interrupted due to roommate coming to pick me up hahah yes I have taken advantage of this a couple times but Mondays I can't cuz the kids have scouts which is fine.

This weekend I did nothing..... The house was full of junior girl scouts so I kept to myself and played scrabble with friends and Facebook. It kinda sucks not having a car but also not spending money helps in me saving hahaha. One thing I did run across this weekend was the way my daughter is acting. Very bossy and talks back to her mom and dad. I'm not sure where this comes from or if this was a thing we didn't notice while raising her. Maybe it's a hormonal thing or a phase as she is entering that emotional state of becoming a teenager. Whatever it is I we need to head it off somewhere and soon. My parenting is very low key and not forceful. My ex on the other hand is has a short temper and is very outspoken to our children. That's just her. I'm not sure I can raise my voice to my children but I have. Apparently she has been bossy and very rude with fellow girl scouts and my ex. I'm gonna do some research as to how to handle this. We shall see how this goes. But I was scared for a moment cuz I thought she ran away. They got into a bad fight and almost crossed that line of omg. So my daughter disappeared for a bit and I went out looking for her in the car. I began to worry so much I almost was going to cry. How can this happen. Yes i did see the fight but it wasn't that bad I probably would've handled it different. What was done was done. Moving forward and learning from the past I need to figure out something for her.


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Open arms

Yesterday my daughter Chloe got an award for participating in a water conservation poster project. Her ceremony was at the Rosamond High School gym which I haven't been there in forever, I think the last time I was there was when my friend was a senior in HD and Tehachapi played them in basketball hahah wow like in 93 ugggg and I live in Rosamond now heheheh.

Bike ride went smooth my sickness still looms but it seems I am making better time. It took me roughly around 30 mins again but my throat still hurts and I have that lingering cough uggg. but my legs feel good and my cardio is getting better so that's a plus. This morning I did wear shorts which wasn't that bad till I got to Tehachapi then I froze my ass off. I knew I would be but the weather is getting warmer and it was time to start the shorts. On payday I might get the bike rack and backpack so I can start to bring lunch and a change of clothes ya smart John hahaha.

Chatting with one of my friends last night she pointed out my witty humor which to myself I don't see it but I guess others are aware of it. One person wanted to make a fan page for me on Facebook hahah that would be funny but anyway we were talking and I brought up leg pit sweat hahaha we all have it don't we??? In fact since I was teasing her about it on my ride this morning I seemed to be more conscious about it. I had that same legpit sweat I was so going on about.... It happens to the best of us or maybe the worst hahahah!!!


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Wow!!! Bus is full.....

Hmmm ok a huge collection of people on here. The crying child with the comforting father sitting behind me. The quiet girl across from me applying the lipstick and kinds flirting with the guy near the front. We have a white trash looking navy seal dressing yahoo looking like he might do something that will cause us all grief. Mostly young white males. There is one guy with a grossly enormous large head. He might be handicap but can't quite tell I am not sure. Only three females that I can see, one of them I can see staring at me. She has this what's that on your facelook hahaha I can only imagine what she is thinking of. The guy next to me is rocking out to somesort music on b.


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Hot lady on bus...

Ok I'm gonna try and describe this girl that is sitting on the bus in front on me kinda.

I have been riding the bus for almost a month now and I've seen my share of intersesting people. But cmon since when do you see a girl that can almost resemble a supermodel. I saw twins one time that looked barely 21 that were hot with red hair and piercings haha ya but this girl hmmm I will call ger Salma cuz she looks like the actress kinda. Anyways she sits there with legs crossed her imitation ugg boots are scuffed but fairly clean and the jacket she has covering the bottom half of her body is black with buttons on the collar. Covering what thou??? Could she be wearing a mini skirt or with a man mind like mine it could be really short shorts. Hmmmm her calves are exposed which has my attention for a bit. They are muscular and tanned which meanss she takes care of her self and knows she is hawt the jacket is covering her middle half but why??? Is she hiding a big ass?? Doesn't look like it maybe she is cold but that brings us to her purple low cut blouse. Her cleavage did get my notice and also the bad suspension in the bus is causing her to bounce her very nice sized breast. Again salma hyeck heheh she wears a ring bu no wedding diamond zo this could be promising. Her toned arms are holding an iphone which shows some sort of intelligence. And an apple product hahaha. Her mouth has small lips kinda like an anime girl and the small freakle below her eye. Her eyelashes are long and full. She doesnt seem fat at all very toned and petite.. I bet when she gets up she's wearing something tight. Hmmm


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The man who fell to earth...

Well today is my birthday and with that comes many birthday wishes and things said that makes my head swell or even wonder why they were said. Talking to many people last night reminded me on how I am with my friends of new. The witty sarcasm and the ability to entertain is apparent but my soft and caring side shines thru. This my be a fluff piece but what the hell it's my birthday and I could cry if I want too heheh. I was thinking what was my most memoriable birthday.... There was the time I went to Disneyland with Catalina. My kids each making me presents from school and hmmmm the McDonald parties my mom used to throw me when I was a wee lad hahah. As ar as gifts i received a mustang from my parents in highschool. But over the years they have come and gone but this morning my daughter gave me a big hug and said i love you daddy. I teared up and enjoyed that moment the most. As the birthday wishes come in the more and more they make me happy. Which is needed right now cuz my slight detour of life ugggg. The car breaking, the moving in with the ex and next month is the annv. of the death of Nikki.... Jsut been an up and down emotionally time. I do need to vent soon i can feel it boiling up inside.

Anyways my bike ride this morning was a cold one in Tehachapi cuz well I missed the bus and only rode my bike in Tehachapi hahah today thou I will ride home.


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Human??

Hmmm well yesterday I had a smile on my face the whole day. My friends that I have recently made are amazing, it made for an interesting day and also made the day go by faster. I missed the bus at first and I can tell my roommate was kinda annoyed because the bus was actually early and we saw it drive off. I was considerate enough to wait for the last minute for her to take me but it proved disastrous. But she made up for it for dragging me along to the avc campus for her testing where I sat for almost 4 hours uggg we had to take such daughter to doctors cuz she stayed home sick. And now my cough is still lingering uggg. We did pay bills and got a bite to eat but other than that my time with her was limited due to the fact she had to take the girls to girl scouts. So keoni and I stayed home played some halo and ate dinner.

The highlight of my day was by a person that just texted me out of the blue that I ended up chatting with all day and playing games. It was fun and she made me laugh. A very animated individual and funny yet way young for me. Yes the thoughts are there but I enjoy her company and witty snarkism. And it's nice to converse with someone other than my kids and my roommate hehehe I don't know I just don't want to run the same course with most of the hot friends I talk to. Befriend them and become that big brother they never had ugggg oh well it happens and thou I have some close female friends it would be nice to spend moments with. Maybe I'm asking for to much heheheh

My bike ride was not interesting at all, not like last week were I hit a lady and a possum. Thou we did switch buses in Mojave and I did ride in the rain in Tehachapi. My ride did have me dodging mud puddles and I managed to be more aware of my ride. It kinda sucks with no moon out cuz I have to depend on my headlight. So now I'm riding in the middle of the road hehehe.

I do write about my daily experiences like a diary or a man-journal hahah I'm thinking of writing about the stories that run thru my head and the ones I write to people to cheer them up. This my contain sexual fiction or gory adventures. Whatever is running thru my head at the time hehehe. Also I need to start exploring things I haven't a clue about. I did start this blog to explore my relationship of post divorce and the traveling adventures but now it is time to add or change hahah so here we go.......

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Grand theft auto on a bike....

Wow where to start... Well this morning I was riding my bike, feeling good and making good time the moon was barely lit almost resemblance of the Cheshire cats smile. Checking the time at my halfway point smiling cuz I left late but ahead os schedule I continued to bike on. Listening to some vampire weekend and thinking to myself how often does the old man walk or ride his bike this early in the morning. When suddenly I saw a lady walking in front of me..... Uggggg I swerved to the left to avoid her but ended up nailing her on her left side knocking us both down. I flew off my bike landed like 20ft away my head light and rear light broke off and her things fell down too. Omg.... It happened so suddenly and makes me wonder how I am suppose to ride now. I'm so cautious as it is but this mishap has me in lala land about my approach on bike riding. Both my knees are bleeding and have a mean road rash on my elbow uggggg. She seemed ok just shaken and I was ok too. I guess that was a wake up call for both us this morning. Ensuring she was ok I gathered my things and went on my merry way. I made it to the busstop 30min after I left the house and my ordeal maybe took 5mins so I would've had a great time recorded in riding.... I'm sorry to the lady I hit but it was both our faults she wore all black and I was going fast hmmmm

Work has been quiet with the boss away sick. We have been busy and have had lots of situations but otherwise handled it. I finally got rid of something that was back there for a year and now my work area is a little cleaner. We shall see how long that lasts.


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Open arms

Yesterday my daughter Chloe got an award for participating in a water conservation poster project. Her ceremony was at the Rosamond High School gym which I haven't been there in forever, I think the last time I was there was when my friend was a senior in HD and Tehachapi played them in basketball hahah wow like in 93 ugggg and I live in Rosamond now heheheh.

Bike ride went smooth my sickness still looms but it seems I am making better time. It took me roughly around 30 mins again but my throat still hurts and I have that lingering cough uggg. Mut my legs feel good and my cardio is getting better so that's a plus. This morning I did wear shorts which wasn't that bad till I got to Tehachapi then I froze my ass off. I knew I would be but the weather is getting warmer and it was time to start the shorts. On payday I might get the bike rack and backpack so I can start to bring lunch and a change of clothes ya smart John hahaha.

Chatting with one of my friends last night she pointed out my witty humor which to myself I don't see it but I guess others are aware of it. One person wanted to make a fan page for me on Facebook hahah that would be funny but anyway we were talking and I brought up leg pit sweat hahaha we all have it don't we??? In fact since I was teasing her about it on my ride this morning I seemed to be more conscious about it. I had that same legpit sweat I was so going on about.... It happens to the best of us or maybe the worst hahahah!!!


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Wake up...

My bike ride seems to be getting easier as the days go on. Week two almost in the bag and my conditioning is improving. Minus the rides home of course those are hit and miss due to my roommate picking me up or that one day it almost took me two hours to walk home uggg. This morning however was a little inspirational due to the fact that the mornings are gonna get darker cuz the moon isnt full anymore. What was good about it is i usually just focus on the road and peddle my heart out but this mornimg i actually looked up into the sky and saw the stars. Now in the desert away from city lights the sky is so clear at night and u can see everything. If you look close enough you can see satelites moving which is really neat. But anyways the ride under the stars made me appreciate what I'm doing, even thou it was very cold it made the ride a little more enjoyable. My legs are feeling it and my cardio is getting up there. I feel pretty good.

The bus was pretty full this morning with almost all rows of seats taken by one person. What was funny was to people went in the back of the bus a guy and a woman and when the guy sat down the girl sat next to him, he then got back up did a hmmphff sound and sat somewhere else..... I'm not sure they knew each other but he seemed irritated. The stories filled my head as to different scenarios. He didn't take out the trash this morning. She didn't give good head at the bus stop. She smelt like fish that was rotten heheheh. Or my favorite they were Porno time travelers that weren't suppose to have sex on the bus yet cuz there were to many people and if they crossed streams it would be unholy..... Ya that did pop in my head and I giggled.

The couple people I blocked from my Facebook still haven't realized I have done such she hasn't mentioned anything in fact she said my posts are funny....... How would she know she's been block for like two weeks now ugggg annoying I swear.


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Hooked up yet??

The question was poised to me last night "how come you're not hooked up yet?" hmmmm I often wonder that myself. Well it's simple I guess not really looking for anything right now to settle down. Mainly trying to get my own life together. Ya living with my ex isn't a suitable conversation with any potentials or now not even having a car. Ugggg but yes my entourage of friends ask me this question. Who are you gonna date who is this lucky girl gonna be..... Pfft. I did have a couple friends with benefits which seemed fine by me but going to bed alone is more and more becoming apparent. The thought of snuggling and holding her at night is missing. Yes to have that companionship and dependability would be great, But my mindset isn't ready yet for that. Yes I want it but not right now and who knows when. Que sera sera...

Yesterdays bike ride home was bare-able. I almost rode all the way with maybe walking for about 10% of it. The wind wasn't that bad and the music fit. Wasn't that depressed and the kids were at scouts so they couldn't pick me up. Which was fine......!


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Bottom of the cup

It's interesting to me to find a topic or even a title for this blog. Today it kinda fit the mood. Most of the time I'm looking around at whatever has writing on it and then I'll just put it down in the title bar but this morning I was having my cup of coffee getting ready to blog when I noticed today's title. Bottom of the cup.... Yes lately it has been just that. Life throws you some intersting curveballs and recently my life is experiencing such a thing. My car broke saving money for that. I got a ticket need money for that. The house infested with mice and no one seems to care need money for that. The kids are not comprehending the things I have told them. Yes they are kids but hopefully soon before it's to late they will get it. Life is really sucky at the moment and with all this time now to ride my bike and walk home due to it being to windy to ride, my mind tends to wonder. Why am I here??? Yes to lead my children to a better understNding to growing up but why else?? Yes I wander aimless thru these waters of self doubt. Am I falling into my state of depression again?? I can't just leave anymore, I'm stuck at the house. I have been asked to go many places but atlas I can't. This should give me the incentive to save to get this car working again but I just don't see it yet. On to top it off I started to block certain people from my Facebook. Why?? At the time I just didn't want to deal with them anymore. Their life has gon to the better and me I have been spinning on a downward motion and a little out of control. Last Friday I kinda caught the glimpes of the bottom of the cup. It wasn't pretty. The thoughts of suicide and mind numbing situations plagued my head. Being sick didn't help either. My weekend nonetheless was spend in bed contemplating life and yes I rudely yelled at my children to punish them of the acts they needed to be corrected on. What I'm trying to say??? I'm not sure I know anymore but I know I'm still alive and made it to work on this chilly Monday.

Today is a brand new day, how will it fare?? However I lead it, I'm guessing my day will go uneventful till I have to ride home then the toughts will begin again. Monkey see monkey do!! Rather be dead than cool... Listening to Nirvana...

For my birthday I might be heading up to Seattle. I have never been there and have a couple friends there but I probably won't see them. Kinda antisocial trip, bit what's neat I think is that it will be by train. I have been looking online at the different prices and they seem reasonable so we shall see. Or..... I might get a computer of some sort uggg I should just do the responsible thing and save the monies ugggg




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Testing a picture i made on my iTouch heheheh-- Posted from my iTouch

Zip lock bags

Today is the last day of this employee that has worked for awhile now that i really haven't chatted with till recently. She is very zanny and funny and wow a...... Ya I'll keep that thought to myself. Anyways said my goodbyes and away she went.

Yesterday I didn't ride the bus cus I assumed that it was gonna snow so my roommate let me use the car. Which I really to appreciate it, I do need to get her something to show thanks and that has yet to be determined. The bus was rather quiet this morning and the bike ride actually cleared my runny nose and cough.... Bizarre I know but as I waited for the bus to arrive a chill came about me and my nose opened up to drip central ugggg. I reloaded my iPod with mellow music for my bike ride. Is this a sign of me getting older?? Yes I like my occasional gwar or Manson but lately it's been this emo rock stuff like owlcity or just soft like Amy winehouse, weezer, of Montreal hmmmm maybe I'm going thru something emotional that is taking over my subconsciousness. My friend from work has made me start listening to journey again haha. I forgot how kewl they are.....

The bus actually full on the way home the roommate will have a babysitting chore to do so no picking me up and it's rather windy uggg.....



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