Its been awhile since i wrote in here and the last time i did, i was accused of something that was laughable at... anyways these past couple weeks have been very up ad down for me. I saw a person i met in the internet that flirted with but never thought i would have meet in real life. It was fun and really enjoyed each other... but now the other thing is i was letting myself get to emotionally involved with a nearly impossible person... why would i do such a thing?? was it the lust? was it the trust?? the attraction? the feel good personality that exudes from this person? She has been nothing but amazing to me and lately her ordeal with real life has me thinking my priorities and attainable goals... I like her and want to love her but the one obsitcle is in the way and this made me realize that i cant do this... Lately the chats and the attention is becoming less, and i cant get myself but hurt over that. She has her things she needs to deal with and im chasing soemthing that i shouldnt be... Byt am i chasing??? yes and no... i like her and what she does to me, i like what and how she cares for me, i like the trust we share and the things we share... but maybe it was to much? no its something i need to control... I did start talking to others to ween myself away from those thoughts of her. I dont want to ignore her but i dont want to fall for her, i love what we have but i think its changing to the friends and less of the sharing... i may be crazy maybe its a good thing this is evolving to this... time will tell
Valkyrie has been popping around lately and from what i understand her bf and her are having issues... its hard for a guy that has no kids try to enter a world of a family... i could imagine the issues that present themselves...
I am feeling useless right now... not wanting to do anything and feeling ashamed... not exactly sure why...
