let it flow.....

what the heck.... staying at my moms house has been lonely... all she does is watch tv and talk smack about people, i love her but wow.. Anyways 3 blog posts in 24 hours??? Why the sudden splurge of thoughts?? I knew something like this would happen. Leaving my home the 1st time was hard, but the intention was to fix myself and comeback... trying to salvage a failed marriage i left and started to rebuild myself. Meeting great people on the way and with hopes of being happy again. I realized then, this wasnt meant to be. Now the 2nd time leaving, i am aware that there is no return and this would close the book on this chapter and the start of a new book. Its hard right now.... Moving to my own place, starting anew for the 1st time. I left all the things i gathered throughout our lives together with her, in hopes that new things equal to new beginnings. I am confident that things will go right... its just scary now that its here... Making things happen...
I miss my kids, my daughter really misses me..

another thing that has been occupying mind has been C... why?? yes i have been writing about her for awhile, and been telling her about my adventures and my dates and my troubles.. its been great having this C as my friend. I listen to her and her great stories, support her writings and just there for her... Honestly thinking about it all the weekend about how she has impacted my life recently is well... amazing. I look forward to speak to her, i smile at her texts and just giddy. I know now she is special... some people just come and go but we have stuck it thru... Do i sound like a whiny person? maybe... but i do like to express my feelings more since my divorce. One thing in my previous relationship with Nikki was that she always loved my expression of emotions and openness. Something i never really was with my ex... i was asked lastnight by lawyer girl if i ever experienced true love... i had to think about that... I think with my ex i thought it was true love, there might have been an instance but it wasnt all out obvious soulmate. We talked about that feeling and she was explaining to me that u just feel it... but what scratched my head was she was willing to dump him cuz he was questioning her actions. So if true love is felt, is it also so willing to be destroyed? Valkyrie is dating her best friend... they have broken up and gotten back together a couple times, and each time it seems to be stronger and stronger. They know so much about each other you figure thats the best.... but they have problems too... now i am really confused... Dating a best friend falling for a best friend... true love?? yes going back into this game is gonna take some used to. gonna have to rediscover what all this is....

Back to C... i think she is my stepping stone, i was hesitant with Nikki and Valkyrie i realized i was to late... C is still here she laughs with me and cries with me.. i share o much and it feels good. I feel somethimes i smother her with my actions but she still listens. I true friend indeed. its only natural to like her and love her......  she is my best friend for life