I left my phone at work..... This will be interesting cuz I'm never without phone. But what a flash back it has been. The depending on such a device for social interactions. Just think back in high school we had to depend on our regular land line phone. No emails no texting just good ole talking communication. Ugg no wonder I never had dates. I was to shy. Thou the Internet has opened me up to a social world and I have more friends online than I do in real life. I am sure it's like that with all people now.
Lately I have been feeling lonely. My roommate is always going to her boyfriends and I'm home with the kids every weekend. I don't mind that as much but sometimes I have to get out of my stir craziness. I have had plenty of opportunities to go out and have fun but lately I think my depression is getting the best of me. It kinda sucks but I'm dealing with it as best I can. Internet friends have been great but seeing someone in person seems to be what I'm looking for now. Waking up alone everymorning at 4am and getting home at 730 pm. The kids are either sleeping or just about going to bed. Last night made me realize I have been out of the loop on my kids education. My oldest is not doing well over all. And I think it's partly due to me not caring enough for her learning. Yes I'm grateful for her trying and hard work she puts in it but not checking in on her or positive reinforcements that can give her that extra effort. We all have different ways to raise kids and I'm trying my best to make sure they do what they can to the fullest potential. It's just hard when my day is taking so long starting and ending. Then my weekends are spent vegging. I should be prepping the house for winter or even the minor details that need attention around the house. I have been slacking a little and the quietness of my roommate could indicate that she may be getting irritated. The kids still don't say anything but maybe it is time to move on and out. I can't stay there forever. And eventually I'll need to move. But till then it's just one day at a time.
As for my former friends. I have been toting with the idea of letting go. My past is something I want to be rid of and I really just need to move on. I have already deleted them off fb and just fading away. My sorrys have been said now it's just time to heal and move on. Thou it's kinda hard when everyday you are reminded of who you are and where your at. I don't talk to them as much but I see them everyday. I get sad and sulk. So that's been a challenge for me aswell.
Till next time
-- Posted from my iTouch
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