I knew one of these days I would write this... and yet I continue to torture myself with it.. well its not exactly torture, its more of a self release and branching out of my world that I created when I was depressed. C has been great to me since day one. Our sense of humor is naughty and nice. We think alike and enjoy the ever lasting company that has been there. The one thing I fear the most is falling for her. Now why would I do that? John you haven't even met her in person.. but over the past year it has been fun getting to know her and trust her... but john you have a habit to fall in love with impossible people... she is my best friend that could trust and just have fun with. John, what are you gonna do? We have done things that have strengthened our friendship. The beyond part I think intimidates our real life meeting.. what if we don't like each other, what if we jump each others bones, what if we fall in love... yes its all there floating in my head.. I am a nice person and honestly I don't think I could let it go anywhere that might hurt her in the long run. Losing her marriage, her life or what have you. Maybe she wants a side project, or a good friend to cry on.
What ever it may be I like whats there. evolving into some more that friends maybe, or just that special bonding that is needed in our lives.. the heart and care is there.
So again I like her but not in the strange stalkerish ways of past relationships. But in almost a loving sense of who she is and what we share. Grant it I could fall in love with her but i can't. It's just simpler that way...
No comments:
Post a Comment